Lately, I've been rather consumed with these questions.
After being so closely involved with the work of Harmony Outreach during Lori's adoption, after meeting the great folks in our area who are giving so much to Heart for Africa, after reading about the needs and mission of The Apparent Project in Haiti, and after seeing the beautiful HOW? Jewelry and learning about the vision behind it - I want to help. I want to sink my teeth into something. I want to use my creative energy for the greater good. I want to make a difference and know I've not wasted my life. I want to share God's message of redemption. I want to help those that are hurting. But........the reality of life grabs hold and sqeezes some of the life out of these wants and replaces them with - I also want to be the best wife and momma I can be. I want to keep my house semi-clean (the word "semi" gives me lots of freedom!). I want to learn more about Jesus. I want to have some time to just "be still and know".
In my past - I have tried the "do it all" approach and I'm just not cut out for that. The one thing I've learned in my 40 years - is that if I try to fly to high, the crash landing stings really bad. So, this week as I've pondered where I can best serve the needs placed before me - I know that God, Hubby, and Kids must remain priority. If I also fit in a little time for "me" to rejuvinate - that doesn't leave much left over. Do I raise money for Africa? Do we dive in to adoption again? Do I host HOW? and Apparent Project Jewelry Shows? Do I collect cereal boxes to send to Haiti? (interested? - click to read the blog post) Do I raise money for a mission trip? Do I take the kids on a mission trip? Do I go with Jay to the Clean Water conference?
My devo today was from an old book that I found on the shelf yesterday. An old fave - My Utmost for His Highest by O. Chambers. Love it! Today, it talked about how no matter what we do, unless we are found to be "approved unto Him" - it's all vanity. How true! It goes right along with our Wednesday night study of Ecclesiates. So, instead of trying to answer all my own questions - my real desire should be to seek Him and His "wants" for my life. No matter what it is - whether big or small - if it is His plan - than this life will not be wasted. I think I need to ponder that for a while. I have a tendancy to bite off more that I can chew and those experiences leave a bitter taste in my mouth. I'll let you know what comes out of all this. It should be interesting.
Heart for Africa